i must’ve been a bug…

i cannot get over the grass and the sunlight in the afternoons right now. i must’ve been a bug because yesterday i actually had to lie down in it to get the picture i wanted. or maybe i was a guernsey. if it get’s any prettier…i swear i’m going to start grazing.

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hello there, sweet mother dear.

i’ve written before about my mother’s way of saying hello through dolphins at the beach ( it’s in the entry entitled “a whisper of butterfly wings”). gardenias are her other way of sending love from heavenly realms. they were her flower. she carried only gardenias in her wedding bouquet. she loved them and passed that love on to me by always decorating my angel food birthday cakes with pink frosting and white gardenias.

can you even think of anything more heavenly and beautiful for a little girl’s cake?

mom’s birthday is november 6th. and i always spend that day thinking of her. and missing her with an ache that settles in my bones. true to her sweet spirit…she sent a gardenia bloom this week. two days after her birthday and the day after i wrote in my journal that i was missing the ocean and thought the dolphins (and mama) must be calling to me.

last year, elena and i planted a gardenia for her in my little kitchen garden right off the back porch. it bloomed on mother’s day last year and i knew she was with me.

gardenias typically bloom in june. but mom has other plans. she sent a bloom to me on the morning of sept 11th 2001. i remember sitting down on the steps to see a lone unexpected bloom and saying…”hello there, mom” i had no idea that hours later i’d live through a day feeling the strongest need ever to be comforted by those i love.

the year before, mom graced us with october blooms during the weekend my brother senour married his sweet camille.

when i told elena about mom’s latest gardenia hello…she said, “you know the name of that particular variey is ‘first love’.”

why doesn’t that surprise me?

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this way to the beach….

i’ve been feeling a strong magnetic pull towards the beach these last few weeks. maybe the dolphins are sending out the call. i really want to go to the caribbean and snorkle and stare and ponder and sit and read and wonder and eat and nap and wander.

hard to mix my thanksgiving girl movie with my beach blanket bingo girl movie. the images just don’t mix. a turkey stuffed with sand? wriggling my toes in warm stuffing. i’d better be careful in that kitchen.

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i love the way the sun falls on my front yard in the late afternoon. my newly planted datura bloomed this week. it takes my breath away.

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it’s been so long between journal entries that i have started getting scary messages from my phoebe bird in nyc. “write! write!” she screeches from her perch. and so here goes.

i love all the holidays…but absolutely lurve halloween. i’ve decided it’s a mom’s perfect holiday.

1.no huge meal to prepare

2. no enormous mounds of presents to buy

3. no sneak, sneak, sneaking around to do and…

4. no child ever bursts through the door heartbroken because “billy on the bus said pumpkins aren’t real!”

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clara keeping watch

here’s my sweet clara enjoying her reign as head of ranch security. her creaky hips prevent her “riding fence” several times a day so we simply carry out our perimeter checks over a cup of coffee in the morning and leave the afternoon free for clara to protect and defend in a more relaxed waggy-tailed fashion.

we adopted clara from the atlanta humane society about 6 years ago and she’s the sweetest most gentle girl. our first year here she was chasing a fawn that had squeezed through the fence. the minute i told clara to stop, she pitched a cabillion years of instinct aside and let the sweet fawn escape. dearhearted girl.

ooooooh….i could kiss the computer screen right now just looking at her. okay…i just did.

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the darling young man on the flying trapeze….

last summer we flew the pippingtooth coop and while on vacation my sweet hubby, luke, took to the skies over minnesota.

he’s playing “a mid-air ode to joy” on the trampoline.

luke was a gymnast growing up and i love this picture of him because i know he’s deliriously happy up there reliving one of the best parts of his childhood.

i look at this image and here’s what i see:

a gentle man who has slipped the pull of gravity for a moment

a loving husband who leaped into sobriety 14 years ago and feels blessed to stay there day after day

a father who’s soared beyond all my expectations

a boyfriend who’s going to get a great big smooch the minute he floats down from cloud nine

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