Hey Curlin, What’s all this “Seranity” talk all about?

 

Okay…what in the H.-E.-Double Hockeysticks does this word Seranity mean?? It’s a word I made up accidentally when I was teetering on the edge of the caretaker’s abyss.

Anything can bring us to a place of caregiver burnout– aging parents, crazypants toddlers, the death of a loved one, addiction, losing a job, a big move or deployment. I was the text book case of someone who’d lost themselves to caregiving, caretaking, and, dare I say it, care-controlling.

One time at a 12-step meeting, when it was my turn to share, I was exhausted and wanted to say, “I’m just trying to hold on to my serenity, but what I said instead was, “I’m just trying to hold on to my Seranity.

There it was. A word that perfectly described what I’d lost; my Seranity.

Serenity + Sanity = Seranity.

I had one foot planted in the future–worrying about all the doomsday scenarios that might engulf us if this happened, then that, and one foot stuck in the past kicking at the banked embers of unresolved resentments and disappointments. I can’t do regular splits, much less Chinese, so something had to give. 

That’s when some graceful force of nature swept me and my crumbling bits of sanity to a 12-step meeting. 

(Fyi: I’m never trying to sell anyone on 12-step meetings. I go regularly, but they’re not for everyone.)

For me, Seranity is a state of being I can only achieve when I stop focusing on everybody else’s choices and needs and slowly but surely refocus on myself with the help of a wonderful community.

I know, I know….focus on YOURSELF???? It’s even hard to say isn’t it? Try it, I’m serious. Say it out loud…”I’m going to focus on my……dishes, carpool, grocery list, school auction, dental work, pediatrician appointments, urine for drug tests, green grout… SELF.”

Yup. That’s the key to Seranity.  Detaching from the soul-sucking pull of crisis just enough to re-attach to yourself. Your goals. Your dreams. Your happy dance.

Best news yet??  You don’t have to make a huge life change to “git you some.” I’m talking tiny baby steps back to your own choices and passions. Teeny ones. Really. Hardly visible under a microscope. The size of a waterbug’s compact inside its little sparkly evening clutch.

Are you with me??

If you are, I hope you’ll sign up for my blog posts and to my freshly picked updates about my pippingtooth art and book news here.

And if you want to gab more about Seranity, (what it is and how to find it), I’d love to chat with you and my other Seranity Seekers in my private facebook group here.

Ok…that’s what’s blooming in my brain today.

Peace, love and Bobby Sherman,

Curlin 

ps. You’ll still be able to show up for those you love. Just refreshed and with healthy boundaries in place. Imagine wearing a semi-permeable, floral patterened, brightly-colored hazmat suit with candy-filled pockets. There. That’s the idea.

Happy Anniversary To Us.

Yep, We’re Celebrating 27 years together today. Doing a little happy dance with my hubby.

 

Letting Go And Letting Google…

Family members whose lives have been affected by a loved one’s addictions or recoveries often rely on the old bromide: “Let Go and Let God.”  Letting my Higher Power carry my emotional bag of groceries has saved me many a time.

When I need just a bit more letting go, I do what I call “Clooking” (Looking & Clicking) on Pinterest, Google, Online museums. Instagram.

Sometimes detaching is as easy as taking 10 minutes to “clook” at things that interest you.  You can check out my Instagram or Pinterest pages to get started if you like.

GIF courtesy of ttps://giphy.com/amelietour

 

 

One Minute Book Review: Addict In The Family – Stories of Loss, Hope and Recovery by Beverly Conyers

Even when families make the painful decision to distance themselves from their loved one, they can frame their decision in terms of care and support: “We love you. We believe in you. When you’re ready to get help, we’ll be here for you.”

Beverly Conyers offers this wonderful advice and more in her excellent book: Addict in the Family – Stories of Loss, Hope and Recovery. 

She takes the hand of family members and guides them in understanding addiction, finding compassion and offering healthy support to the alcoholic. More importantly to me, she helps family members detach with love by refocusing their energies on their own lives, hopes and dreams. Conyers is one of my faves! Check out the book from here through my affiliate link: Addict In The Family: Stories of Loss, Hope, and Recovery. If you make a purchase, I’ll receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

“When we make something new,….we spark a form of ‘spiritual electricity…'”

I found this great article written by Molly Castelloe who writes The Me In We blog for Psychology Today magazine.

In the article, she quotes author Julia Cameron from her book, The Artist’s Way. Cameron comes closest to explaining why I’m starting to notice that my creativity is a collboration I join into with my Hiya Power!

Here’s what Castelloe highlights from Julia Cameron’s wriring:

“Creativity is an induced spiritual experience, writes artist Julia Cameron. We are all part of a vast electrical energy field, she claims, and one’s creative instincts bring one more in harmony with this ecosystem.

When we make something new, generate concepts or build novel associations between existing ones, we spark a form of “spiritual electricity” that puts us in alignment with the natural order of the universe.

Macinate/Flickr
Leap into the Void
Source: Macinate/Flickr
 

Our individual creative acts also connect us more intimately to that of our Great Creator, whether you call that life force Allah, Higher Power, good orderly purpose, or “flow.” Cameron suggests the idea of God is an action, a doing – rather than a noun.”

Do you feel a spiritual connection when you are being creative?

Think of all the things you make with your hands…it can be anything from a glorious meal to a hand-thrown dish.

Do you feel a spark? I hope you’ll share your experience here in the comments section below.

Click on my affilliate link below if you’d like to peek at the book from here:

“Where’s My F***ing Cake, Bob?” — A Book in the Making…

 

Many of you know that I’m working on a memoir about surviving the addiction or recovery of someone you love or care about. 

If you’re interested in the book, the topic or just want to follow along on my journey to whelp this book baby out into the world, please share your email below and I’ll keep you updated! 

Maybe you have your own book you’re nurturing and I can be your advance team!

Let Them Eat Buttercream Frosting…

  

I spent Thursday in a buttercream frosting frenzy with talented designer Jen Wells and photographer, Ari Skinner in a the studio in Atlanta shooting the cover for my upcoming book “Where’s My F***ing Cake, Bob” How I Survived My True Love’s Trips to Rehab.

We also had fun trying on a big Seranity Crown I made. Shhhhhhhh. It’s a surprise.

Are The Bugs In My Yard Trying To Tell Me Something??

What’s the message here?

Is there a tiny bug creating Rorschach images so I can say what I see?

Is there a little beetle designing patterns for new fabric?

Does she have a teeny little computer where she’s using photoshop to design new garden bedding?

Is this the family crest of family of squirrels?

 

A new logo for a worm?

A stylish skirt for a new flowegal?

So many possibilities.

What do you see?

My New Book

My new book, “Where’s My F**king Cake, Bob?” How I Survived My True Love’s Trips to Rehab is coming soon. This is just a mock-up of the cover. My friend and wonderful graphic designer Jen Wells will be shooting the cover in Atlanta two weeks from now.

We’ve been swapping ideas and gathering this and that for the photoshoot. So much fun.

Then it’s off to the presses!  Amazon here I come!

Savannah Paintbrush Happy


After years of talking about it, I’m finally trying it.  Portrait painting with wonderful painter and teacher, Melinda Borysevicz.  It’s such fun.  I lose myself completely for 2.5 hours every Thursday.   So far I have discovered I’m hesitant to use enough paint.  Will fix that this Thurs.  I love painting the light and dark shapes…rather than a facial feature.  That puts me into flow nirvana!