Okay…what in the H.-E.-Double Hockeysticks does this word Seranity mean?? It’s a word I made up accidentally when I was teetering on the edge of the caretaker’s abyss.
Anything can bring us to a place of caregiver burnout– aging parents, crazypants toddlers, the death of a loved one, addiction, losing a job, a big move or deployment. I was the text book case of someone who’d lost themselves to caregiving, caretaking, and, dare I say it, care-controlling.
One time at a 12-step meeting, when it was my turn to share, I was exhausted and wanted to say, “I’m just trying to hold on to my serenity, but what I said instead was, “I’m just trying to hold on to my Seranity.”
There it was. A word that perfectly described what I’d lost; my Seranity.
Serenity + Sanity = Seranity.
I had one foot planted in the future–worrying about all the doomsday scenarios that might engulf us if this happened, then that, and one foot stuck in the past kicking at the banked embers of unresolved resentments and disappointments. I can’t do regular splits, much less Chinese, so something had to give.
That’s when some graceful force of nature swept me and my crumbling bits of sanity to a 12-step meeting.
(Fyi: I’m never trying to sell anyone on 12-step meetings. I go regularly, but they’re not for everyone.)
For me, Seranity is a state of being I can only achieve when I stop focusing on everybody else’s choices and needs and slowly but surely refocus on myself with the help of a wonderful community.
I know, I know….focus on YOURSELF???? It’s even hard to say isn’t it? Try it, I’m serious. Say it out loud…”I’m going to focus on my……
dishes, carpool, grocery list, school auction, dental work, pediatrician appointments, urine for drug tests, green grout… SELF.”
Yup. That’s the key to Seranity. Detaching from the soul-sucking pull of crisis just enough to re-attach to yourself. Your goals. Your dreams. Your happy dance.
Best news yet?? You don’t have to make a huge life change to “git you some.” I’m talking tiny baby steps back to your own choices and passions. Teeny ones. Really. Hardly visible under a microscope. The size of a waterbug’s compact inside its little sparkly evening clutch.
Are you with me??
If you are, I hope you’ll sign up for my blog posts and to my freshly picked updates about my pippingtooth art and book news here.
And if you want to gab more about Seranity, (what it is and how to find it), I’d love to chat with you and my other Seranity Seekers in my private facebook group here.
Ok…that’s what’s blooming in my brain today.
Peace, love and Bobby Sherman,
ps. You’ll still be able to show up for those you love. Just refreshed and with healthy boundaries in place. Imagine wearing a semi-permeable, floral patterened, brightly-colored hazmat suit with candy-filled pockets. There. That’s the idea.
Thanks, Curlin! This is, as usual, spot on. I LOVE the graphics, too. Looking forward to reading and learning. Have a wonderful weekend. I hope it’s as beautiful down your way as it is up here.
Hi Suse…thanks for being such a great support and roving contributer! More and more I am coming to realize it’s all about connection. reaching out to each other. feeling heard and understood. xo
I love this. You are such a storyteller! I think Seranity is the perfect word and you explained so perfectly what this is all like. Have you connected with Anita from http://www.blessedbutstressed.com? She talks about caregiving as well–much of it in the cancer space, but I think there would be some great connections. 🙂
Thanks for such a sweet post and your kind complements! I am going to go look up anita and blessedbutstressed.com You know how I love connecting. I’ve also been in the cancer caregiving space so I’m sure I’m going to relate!
I’m so glad I found you. I love, love, love your sense of humor. And I love that you love Bobby Sherman.
Hi Dana! Thanks so much. And can I tell you how much it means to me that you love Mr. Robert Sherman! It’s such a obscure reference for so many people. Just went to your site and I’m gonna put on my pjs and go spelunking!